An Ordinary Example of Polite Conversations With Apple

+ Hey Apple! I made an app for cross platforms and I would like to deploy it on App Store too. What should I do? - We glad to see you, let's get started! Open your Mac. + But I don't have one. - You don't? How can it be? Since the whole world uses Macs, why don't you have one yet? + I just don't and I don't want to. Can I just build my app for iOS on Windows or Linux? Because I already wrote the whole script for cross platforms. - Absolutely not. You should buy a Mac first, even you've already wrote the script for iOS. + Uhh, alright. I bought one. Now what should I do? - Great! Now you must open your Mac and build your app for iOS. + Alright, it's kinda expensive but anyway, easy peasy. Now finally it's time to deploy it on App Store! - Hold on buddy, did you pay for that? + What will I pay for? I already bought a Mac mini for 500 bucks just for you want me to. Besides this price was without taxes. - Oh silly, it's just a Mac... It can't deploy your app by it's own self. If you want my supreme users to be able to use your app, you need to pay also for App Store. It's just $99, not too much. + Alright alright, take it. - Here we go! Congratulations, now the superious iOS users may find your app on App Store hell for a year! + Wait, what?? By "for a year", you mean, am I gonna need to pay a hundred bucks per year? - Don't be anxious, it's not a hundred bucks, it's only $99. You're releasing your app with super precious iOS users, remember? Isn't that worth it? You should feel yourself so lucky for that. No worries, you might be able to earn those yearly costs through the ads you'll show in your app. + Oh I see... Actually I changed my mind. I think I don't need your shity store. I'm gonna make my app a PWA. - Of course you can! But first, let me warn you about one point. Your PWA might won't work correctly on iOS devices and that's definitely not a problem that we can't fix. We just don't want to... becausee... we couldn't find a way to earn money through them yet. + Rest in piece Steve Jobs... Okay okay, maybe I'll earn that "store costs" you want from me, if you say so. I wouldn't think to make my users to see thousands of ads though, but there is no other solution I guess. I'm gonna do everything you want me to do, just let me deploy my app. Deal? - Aallrightt! By the way, I'm gonna cut between 15% and 30% of your ad winnings, just for you know... It's my own cut, the other taxes you need to pay your goverm- [Disconnected]